Giving Life My All

Giving all of myself to everything in my life… God, my family, my health, my mind. This is my story… my ups and downs, struggles and triumphs.

I’m a Mama Bear

on April 19, 2015

I’m a “mama bear”… true, real, intense mama bear.  You can’t mess with my kids… for real…. you CANNOT mess with my kids because I cannot promise that I will not yell at or interfere with whatever is going on to hurt my kids.  I’m not saying that to be mean… and that is not my intent in the moment that I’m defending my babies… but I honestly, seriously, cannot say that I will control myself and not get angry/upset about whatever is going on.  I’m a defensive person, I protect the people and things that I love and I cannot sit back and watch those people and those things get hurt without stepping in and making every effort to make that hurt stop.  I’ve done it since I was a child… I did it in college… and I still do it today.  I’m a fighter… I’m strict… I set rules and I’m stern when I enforce them.  I don’t bend easily… and I find it extremely hard to change what is natural to me.

 

Several times over the past year, I have watched my oldest son get picked on.  From innocent teasing to straight up bullying.  If I’m there and I see it happen, I put an end to it.  My son is sensitive.  He’s slowly becoming the smallest in his class and the smallest of his friends.  While his mama is a tough cookie, he’s not-so-much.  I’m trying to teach him how to defend himself with words and actions (i.e. telling the bully to stop and walking away from the situation) and I’m so proud of him when he tells me that he walked away from someone who was picking on him.  He’s only 3 1/2 years old and he’s making amazing choices every day… including walking away from a fight.  The problem comes in with the other kids.  If my son is telling the bully to stop and trying to walk away but the bully keeps pulling him back in and hitting him, what can he do?  Eventually, I’m going to tell him to fight back if there are no adults around to help him… because that’s what I was taught and it was the only thing that made some of my bullies stop.

 

But for now, if I see a child picking on my child and making him cry… I will not tell my son to “suck it up” and “get over it.”  I will physically remove my child (as well as the other) from whatever is going on.  I might yell at the other kid (this has happened on more than just a couple of occassions) and I will tell Cayden not to play with those kids again if they are being mean.  If it continues, and he keeps getting picked on by the same kids, I will no longer allow my child to be friends with those kids even if it means I lose a couple of friends along the way.  While I can control who my son is friends with at 3 1/2 years old, I know this will not always be the case.  One day I will have zero say in who my child hangs out with and what he does with those friends.  My hope is that right now, while I still have control, I teach my child the difference between right and wrong… the difference between fun games and games that are hurting others feelings.  My children’s mental and physical health are my number one priority as a mom and I’m not going to put that in jeopardy because I’m afraid of losing friends due to my “mama bear” reactions.

 

I pray that God will always keep my babies safe, as well as all other people in the world who feel bullied… and I pray that I make the right decisions in raising my boys in this crazy world.  I also pray for those who are doing the bullying, that God heals their hearts and leads to a path of goodness, kindness and love.

 

****Typical disclaimer for me****

I’m sorry if this offends anyone that I know.  It’s not my intent to hurt others… just to get my voice and opinions heard.

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