Giving Life My All

Giving all of myself to everything in my life… God, my family, my health, my mind. This is my story… my ups and downs, struggles and triumphs.

The dreaded Chemotherapy…

on April 27, 2017

Chemotherapy… I was hoping I would be able to avoid it.  Well, today we found out that’s not going to happen.  Every day is a new adventure with me and this cancer battle.  It’s unpredictable what’s going to happen next in terms of treatment and where it will show up.  It’s not easy… and if you’re a planner like me, it throws you for a loop.  I’ve learned to be pretty darn flexible during these past 10 months.  I’ve learned that I’m not necessarily in control of this cancer.  We’re chasing after a cure… we’re not ahead of it.  I just keep telling myself that we can do this… we can beat it… we HAVE to beat it.

Today started out with CT Scans of my chest, abdomen and pelvic area.  My doctor wanted to get a new scan before the surgery to make sure that none of the cancerous spots in my body had grown significantly since the last scans.  With the requirement of me being off of Immunotherapy drugs for 2 weeks, thankfully, he wasn’t going to blindly risk my health just to fix my leg.  After the CT Scans, we met with my doctor.  He had received the initial scans but not an official reading of the scans from a radiologist.  He went over them with us and, basically, showed us that all of the spots we know about in my body (the 2 tumors in my right kidney and the spot on the left side of my diaphragm) had grown slightly.  The spots that were treated with radiation (the one on my spine, the one on the psoas muscle, and the one in my lung) were all still shrinking or have stayed the same size.  Because the spots that haven’t been treated with radiation are showing growth while on my Immunotherapy drug, he decided Chemotherapy was necessary.  And in addition to starting Chemo, we will be postponing the surgery on my Tibia until May 16th.  My doctor wants to boost me with a round of Chemo before and after surgery to avoid not having me on some sort of treatment.

We’re not wasting any time either.  Tomorrow is THE day.  Chemo round 1.  It’s pretty darn scary knowing some of the side effects… nausea, vomiting, flu-like symptoms, decrease in white blood cells, decreased appetite, weakness, fatigue… and the dreaded hair loss.  I’ve decided not to try to save my hair with the new special caps they’ve recently invented/discovered.  Plus, this was such a quick, last-minute decision that I can’t order it and get it in time… 9AM Chemo infusion TOMORROW.  I’m mourning the loss of my hair now… before it even happens because I know it’s inevitable.  I’m worried about the boys and their reaction.  Liam won’t understand but Cayden will.  He knows mommy has cancer… and he’s seen cancer patients without hair.  This is going to be a reminder to him that his mommy is different.  I just hope it doesn’t affect him too much.  And I hope his classmates and peers don’t pick on him because his mom looks strange.  I’ll have to sit down and have a conversation with him about what’s going to happen when I notice my hair thinning.  Man does this suck.  I hate that my kids have to be dragged into this cancer battle.  On a side note, I already have one beautiful scarf that my mom bought me during one of her trips out here to help us out.  See… I was trying to plan for the future knowing Chemo was an option.  I’m going to try to rock the bald look as best I can.  And if I don’t look good without hair, I’ll invest in a wig or 2… maybe have some fun and try out different hairstyles and colors.

And so… the battle continues.  Another chapter is about to start in my story.


2 responses to “The dreaded Chemotherapy…

  1. Sarah Auddino says:

    We are praying for you beautiful Cheryl, we are in awe of your strength and determination xxx


  2. Jeanne Brown says:

    Cheryl, we will be praying for you. Hoping that chemo will help with all the different places that need attention.


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